As in the UK, they had decided same-sex couples should be able to enter into civil partnerships and, as in the UK, the politicians had also decided that gay and lesbian people should have equal rights. Now, the Norwegians are very rational people. They may not be the words we are using, but the sentiment of marriage vows, whether gay or straight, civil or religious is universal. Surely two people committing themselves to a stable relationship - who promise to love and care for one another for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, as the ancient vows go - is something most people would find difficult to condemn. And we don't mind the rest of the world knowing either. We are proud of what we are about to do and we want our friends and families to celebrate with us. But we are not getting married in secret. We are going to hold the ceremony in private because what we have to say to each other is between us and us alone.
I am committing myself to the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, someone who can give me everything I need, for ever. I have been in many relationships since then but have never felt the desire or had the necessary confidence in their longevity to consider entering a legally-binding contract, even if such a thing had been available back then.Īn important part of getting married to Petter is to demonstrate that this relationship really is different. But I was wrong.Īs my ex-wife put it: 'If you were leaving me for another woman, I would never have forgiven you, but I realise there is something you need that I cannot offer.' Last time, I honestly believed, with God's help, I could make marriage to a woman work. Initially we agreed that there was no reason to get married unless there were legal issues, such as inheritance.īut as we grew closer we both, independently of one another, came to believe other people should know just how committed we were. So who proposed to whom? I can't really remember, it was a mutual decision. Petter's a wonderful man: intelligent and witty but with a calm nature that is the perfect counterpoint to my volatility.
In return, I spend a lot of time in Oslo where two Big Mac meals cost £17.20, such is my commitment to him. He took two months' unpaid leave to be by my side during the campaign, such is his commitment to me. In that time Petter stood by me as I ran for Mayor of London on the Liberal Democrat ticket. It gave me lots of time for long weekends in Oslo.Ī couple of years have passed since then. After a well-publicised disagreement over the police shooting of an innocent man at Stockwell Tube station, I was sidelined into a job that took roughly eight hours a week to perform. In a strange way, Commissioner Sir Ian Blair played Cupid, although it's perhaps best not to dwell on that image for too long. When we met I was working up to 18 hours a day at New Scotland Yard as Deputy Assistant Commissioner of the Metropolitan Police.īrian's former wife Mary, who is still supportive Petter is an engineer who lives and works in Oslo. It was a gamble but it proved the most wonderful weekend I had ever spent with anyone.īut how was a long-distance relationship going to work? In a rash moment, I suggested he could save the cost of a hotel by staying with me. She was playing at Wembley Arena in London and my Norwegian holiday romance was coming to see her. Inevitably, it was my last day and having spent just 24 hours together we parted with me believing I would never see him again.īut then there came divine intervention - well, not quite: it was Madonna. I was minding my own business on holiday in Ibiza when I met Petter. So early in the New Year, we will become one of the first same-sex couples to benefit from this change in the law. Isn't marriage what straight people do? Who should wear the white dress? Am I going to be Mrs Belsvik or is Petter going to be Mrs Paddick? When the registrar says: 'You may kiss the bride,' who kisses whom? And will I understand what's going on if it's all in Norwegian?īut gay or straight, when you meet your soulmate a wedding is the ultimate statement of your faith in each other and the enduring nature of your love. This time it's with a man: my Norwegian boyfriend of two years, Petter Belsvik.
So, at the age of 50, I am taking the plunge again. Groom and groom: Brian with his lover, Petter, left